SUICIDE

Man, tell me more, what's it like to 'date' a stripper?

Hi Tim. Very well, it will be nice and cathartic to purge the rest of the memories I have of that situation. It's been about 3 years or so since we had broke up. Ironically, she has been calling my phone lately out of no where at odd hours of the night/early morning last week. I imagine she has been getting drunk or high out of her mind. I haven't spoken to her for a long time. I don't miss hearing words like "uhm" "like" "yaw" and "seriously", for hours on end.

Anyway, the relationship went like this. At first I thought it was pretty cool dating this incredibly hot chick, who made a living out of being sexy. It didn't really bother me in the beginning that she was getting naked in public, until of course, some of my co-workers (at the time), began to show up at her club, and pretty much made a habit of getting "front row seats".

The creepy/uncomfortable part was, she always told me if she ever happened to see any of my friends there, though I never asked, because I didn't want to know. Where it got weird was, everybody knew we were dating, living together, and my friends and co workers never said a word to me about seeing her. I never went to see her strip, not even once.

I really didn't have any problems with any of that, because I always trusted her, and we were always together anyway. Well, the big problem is that almost all strippers have to get themselves drunk or worse, to perform. This caused her to develop one hell of an alcohol problem. In those days, I never drank, so when I would go pick her up from "work" at 3 in the morning, she would be completely fucking bananas.

She would try to place this huge amount of blame on me, whenever I tried to get her to stop stripping, and find more honorable work. Big mistake. Crazy ladies, may be crazy, but most of them are expert manipulators, and know how to hit you where it hurts. She would say, "you are the loser, why don't you get a better fucking job, asshole, then maybe I wouldn't have to strip."

This infuriated me. Number one, I knew it was a lie. She loved the night life, the chaos, the debauchery, the insanity and sin. She was happy that she had a boyfriend that was cool with what she did, for the most part. But a part of my manhood was being challenged, as I wasn't making much money at the time, in fact, she was bringing home over $500 some nights. I felt like Al Bundy, from Married With Children.

Every night I had to listen to her bitch and moan about about the way men are, and her having to deal with "sluts" all the time. You guys have a pretty good idea of how analytical my mind is. I thought this through every single conceivable angle I could. She was out of control and crazy. Sometimes she would literally rip my shirts off my chest, and I would take every piece of furniture, item that belonged to her and throw them straight out of the door.

Then of course, the kiss and make up bullshit would always happen, and we would end up making love, and things would calm down for a few weeks. I admit that I am not an easy person to live with either. I need to be alone a lot, and the woman I've dated don't like that. But I will take my alone time over any woman, any day.

Those were the bad days. The good days were full of my own private lap dances, and strip teases, at home with her, it was paradise in that sense. And she would bring home incredibly hot strippers sometimes, which was a plus. Never got freaky in that sense, due to jealousy issues. But all of these things brought chaos as well. Too much for me, when mixed with drugs and alcohol. A lot of my friends began to become envious of me, though they knew not of the horror that lurked in the back ground.

I have to admit, I have a strong attraction to slutty looking ladies. Dating them is a whole other issue. I really thought I could fix her broken mind and past. But what happened is that she was dooming me along with her. I have never dated a remotely sane woman, ever. I don't know if I could. I wouldn't even know how. One thing good about that relationship though, is that she was a great cook, and awesome house cleaner. She was never messy, and took good care of things.

I've been tempted to call her back the last few days, to maybe look for some easy fun. But my soul won't even allow it. I have been guarding my own sanity ever since the break up, and I'm not about to go into ruin again. Plus, I believe the only reason she's been contacting me again, is because her life is a total mess right now, and she probably feels I can help her. I can't.

*edit* I wanted to state for the record, that I said and did my share of irrational things, and now I wished I would have handled situations much better. It's pretty crazy what love can do to people.




Maybe insanity and love have a similar relationship to one another. Passion? I don't know. I give up!

It's odd, but because of that relationship, I literally have no desire to enter another one again. lol

at one time in my life i was chatting up a girl too good for me i met on a dating site and we would talk for hours for a period of 3 weeks or so

purely subjective high noon, purely subjective

I don't miss hearing words like "uhm" "like" "yaw" and "seriously", for hours on end.

This is grounds for their instant dismissal.

thanks for the post flames. the taking a discipline thing is so true. its kindof what helped me straighten myself out, because i have such a long list of nerdy hobbies and computer games that i felt i was getting behind on i missed honing my skills and being competitive. the drinking and the drugs actually started to do nothing for me, i guess i could say i started to prefer the pain and anguish of learning and improving at my hobbies and games, rather than have some artificial blissful experience that came to a soul wrenching crash followed by an emptiness. that shit kills people. im lucky i had a lifeline a few times to put money in my pocket during times of when i spent too much cash.

but what im thinking of the drug and party lifestyle is that the drugs is very closely linked to porn. the rich do lines of coke and have orgies etc. and that primal energy going out of whack is what causes people to lose it. i didnt progress through the milestones of adulthood like the typical alpha human does (and experiencing alpha milestones is a minority affair anyways). where everything is so abundant and excessive for them that their personalities become impatient, demanding, nonchalant, arrogant etc. when you're poor in the metaphysical realm of manhood, the things you have arent good enough and you flat out desire and crave for other certain things. and your phsycology is alot more fragile, it can be solid, but fragile. the wrong comment from the wrong person at the wrong time sends you into a downward spiral especially if the comment or action synergizes with other life themes that are hurting you at the same time.

also growing up in my late teens and early 20s i felt that the solution ie getting a diploma in something wasnt going to make me feel any better because a part of me didnt really want to do the "if you cant beat them, join them" philosophy. i didnt really appreciate the notion that i was kicked down to the bottom of the ladder all my life. and to give my life a constant directed surge of energy fueled by rage and jealously so that i can "join" the people whove kicked me down at the top, is kindof silly. cause i dont want to join with these exact people or people like them. the archetype is so prevalent that i will make associations with people that remind me with people ive already met, and although the new people didnt do anything to me. i treat them and personify them as the exact same people because i know how their mind works. i wanted to see them destroyed. there is no authority i could ever turn to rectify some of the lockdown situations that groups of people put me in. once a certain predator wounded me it was like all the other sharks in the sea could smell my blood and they all started taking chunks out of me. and it was uncanny because it was like i somehow on a sublime level carried with me past damage that new sociopaths could pick up on and then exploit me because they could tell i used to be someone elses slave, but currently had no master.

there were times i wanted to destroy life and just teach people that there can also be no rationale to my behaviour except for the bottom line of i need to win or i need to feel good. go and do things with the princible that i am simply pressing an advantage all the way home. like playing defense when you're 4-0 on the opposing team and running out the clock. just maintain the domination in order to make sure I win. just act oblivious to the pain im causing another person because i cant hear you because i just want to advance to the next round and send you back to your hotel to pack your suitcase.

but i suppose im better for it to not have ever lost it with another person, i lost it it with myself instead (temporarily)

The Scarlet Woman has been made completely dysfunctional, for sure that is one thing that can break a guy, a devalued gal. A valualable one would definitely make them.

Instead of having healthy attitudes and relations, like some of those French folks do, ( : the program going on is based on compulsiveness and addictions, suppression starting at a very young age. So when a person wants to improve or even want to change for the better, these old scripts going on inside make it almost impossible to do so. A person is taught subliminally to always to the opposite of what is good for them, and then the mind does a double and goes haywire, and can't cope so becomes insane.

Even more so the anima in a guy can help there own Self so much.
And that is a key that is lost, because.....................

that's where the mind control starts, as I said societies rulers know just about everything in a person, body and soul. They know that a person has an animal and a human side. But people don't realize anything about themselves and don't acknowledge the animal. And all because of that they are easy to manipulate, because that is EXACTLY what the rulers target, a person's animal, or the primal behaviors/thoughts. It is the animal inside being manipulated that causes irrational behaviors. The human side wants higher aspirations, but doesn't have a clue their animal side is being controlled, so a person doesn't understand what is holding them back.

The rulers are clever and have very effective and elusive ways to manipulate and they know one of the best ways to use a person is through the primal. They know that the animal needs guidelines and such (born with a clean slate, and a very long childhood), it needs to be created alright and got it molded their way, the product is an insane animal. That's the paradigm so it seems. Things going to hell
nowadays. Another very important thing that is controlled that is in the primal animal side, is sex. They have people screwing anything and become possessed by anything and not allowing the human side to know anything about the sexual energy.

It's the animal inside being used so expertly which in turn inhibits and controls the human side which is about the higher Self. And all the dysfunctions happening.
That' the big problem I was thinking about.

but what im thinking of the drug and party lifestyle is that the drugs is very closely linked to porn. the rich do lines of coke and have orgies etc. and that primal energy going out of whack is what causes people to lose it. i didnt progress through the milestones of adulthood like the typical alpha human does (and experiencing alpha milestones is a minority affair anyways). where everything is so abundant and excessive for them that their personalities become impatient, demanding, nonchalant, arrogant etc. when you're poor in the metaphysical realm of manhood, the things you have arent good enough and you flat out desire and crave for other certain things. and your phsycology is alot more fragile, it can be solid, but fragile. the wrong comment from the wrong person at the wrong time sends you into a downward spiral especially if the comment or action synergizes with other life themes that are hurting you at the same time.

You have a very interesting and intuitive call on reality, HighNoon. I think you're going to be alright. It's also interesting that you mentioned porn in all of this. I have thought a lot about the role of porn in the human community, especially its merging with the age of technology. There is something deeply messed up about it. I imagine over 90% of the woman who participate in some of these crazy porn schemes of today, are completely broken individuals, possibly beyond repair.

Like many people, I can be a sucker for viewing porn just like anyone else. What has really caught my attention, is how insanely messed up today's porn standards are, and how it really does reflect the morality of the human race, in its current manifestation. For instance, if someone wants to see 3 guys spit into a woman's mouth, fill up all of her holes, and urinate all over their body, it can be found instantly. When I was a kid, I remember how amped up I would be, when my neighbor friend showed me his dad's playboys. I also remember how guilty I felt after viewing them! lol

There must be a fine line somewhere, where the human compassion areas of the brain must be detached altogether, in order for pleasure to be derived from the viewing experience, of some of today's porn material. I don't know if this is completely true, but it is interesting to see how desensitized most people really are.

Sometimes I wonder if the younger generations have a chance of surviving at all. Paradoxically, I know that each generation probably thinks this way of the generations under their own. I think you are ahead of the curve, in the fact that you are aware of many of the darker things that are really going on in reality. I'm beginning to wonder if there are specific people in the world, who simply "tap" into this reality somehow, at least easier than the average person. Maybe its as simple as a part of you just knows that something is terribly wrong, and you'll be damned if you don't find out what it is. That is how it seems to me, anyway.

In my situation I've had to abandon many rotten people, who really brought me down, people I never felt any love from. This is an extremely difficult thing to do. The weird thing is, is how this can create shame and guilt on the innocent person fleeing from the oppressors, so to speak. It's like planting a lonely flower in a garden far away from other flowers, and giving that lonely flower, inadequate nutrients to survive. Being a sensitive individual, thrown into a society of plastic, fake, and unreasonable hierarchy is a brutal experience as we already know. It's a wonder how anyone find any stillness what so ever these days.

I shouldn't call people "rotten", for I really don't believe it is in their true nature to act as such (referring to the individuals in my life). It is the underpinning evil that penetrates life that I am focused on, not necessarily the host that is infected, as it were. I always use this metaphor: "people are talking about the spider web, is anyone looking at the spider?" If that makes any sense...

I shouldn't call people "rotten", for I really don't believe it is in their true nature to act as such (referring to the individuals in my life). It is the underpinning evil that penetrates life that I am focused on, not necessarily the host that is infected, as it were. I always use this metaphor: "people are talking about the spider web, is anyone looking at the spider?" If that makes any sense...

True the spiders need to be under examination pronto!! I mentioned the controlling methods.

Unbelievable, it's come to a point where a gal needs to get drunk or high to strip!!! What does that tell you, that they are broken from an early age about sex and everything else, making them so dysfunctional they have to get loaded!
I don't understand why they would have to do that to strip, I think it is for other reasons, like doing other tricks, I could see why they have to get high and do that because they are made to believe that they have to be married or in a current dysfunctional relationship to have sex. And that sex is all bad no matter what.
Plus the entire sex industry is messed up, well beyond that, and based on so many delusions, who would want to work in that field.
There used to be a thing called sacred prostitution, when people knew about sensuality and sexuality.

Which leads to and is all about inhibition and indoctrination into insanity at a very early age.

My "openers" on getting to really know someone....and determining if I want to know them any further.
Life has taught me from a very young age that it is valuable to really get to know the important details when forming relationships.
I would be a dating website or service's nightmare.

Do you (or have you ever for this and all subsequent questions) smoke?
Do you drink alcohol? Do you regularly and/or socially meet at places that serve alcohol like bars, clubs, etc?
Have you ever been addicted to alcohol and attended any type of rehab or AA for treatment?
Do you do recreational drugs?
Do you take prescription drugs?
Do you take anti-depressant or any type of psychotropic drugs? If yes, to any of these, which drugs, amounts and for how long?
Are you currently seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? Have you ever had hypnotherapy treatments?
Do you have any physical ailments, illnesses, diseases, handicaps, special health considerations and/or impairments? Family history of disease?
Have you had any surgeries? Plastic surgery?
Have you ever been arrested or the subject of a criminal investigation as the main suspect for a crime?
What age did you first have sex? Were you earlier sexual experiences and relationships good ones?
How many sexual partners have you had? What was your longest relationship? Have you ever lived with anyone? Elaborate.
Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases? Do you currently have any sexually transmitted diseases?
Have you recently been tested for sexually transmitted diseases? Results?
What kind of sex have you or do you participate? What do you like and dislike? What is your history and present consideration with multiple partners and monogamy? Have you ever or do you do...anal? What do you not like about sex?
Are you currently or have you ever been married?
Do you have any children?
Have you ever had an abortion? If yes, how many?
Have you ever been assaulted, sexually assaulted, molested and/or raped? Please elaborate thoroughly.
Have you ever prostituted yourself or bought sex?
Have you ever been involved in a cult or involved in ritual abuse?
Are you religious? If yes, which religion or beliefs do you practice and/or profess?
Are you an active member of your religious group in any way? Bible study, church, public service, meetings, etc.? If yes, please list and clarify.
What are your political views and affiliations? Are you currently politically active?
Do you watch television and movies? How many hours a week do you view these? Which movies and shows do you watch?
What kind of music do you like?
What type of education do you have?
What types of jobs have you held in the past and currently have?
What type of salary do you currently make?
What is your life's dream as to what you would like to do with your life and/or provide to the world?
Are you in financial debt? How much debt?
Do you like to shop? What kind of spending habits do you have? Frugal, moderate, big spender? Are you "trendy" and into the "latest" must-haves?
Are your mother and father still living? Do you currently live with them or one of them? Are they married or divorced? When were they divorced, how old were you when they were divorced, and what were the circumstances?
What are your personal philosophies on life in general and how the world works? Regarding family, friends, associates, close personal relationships, etc.?
What kinds of food do you like to eat? Do you like to cook?
What are your interests and hobbies?
Do you have pets?
Do you think it is possible 911 was an inside job?

Depending on the person, a no answer or an answer that does not resonate with me very well can be all that is needed for instant human downgrade and filing into perspective level of association.

I know, I know. It can seem cold and calculated, but I assure you that it is done with great depth, understanding, nurturing and humanity.
But...I am also looking out for myself in life and my best interests. Relationships can be risks. And risks can bring about losses of time, energy, effort, emotions, money, well-being, etc. This list goes on and on.

Regarding smoking...

These are my earliest observations as a child and having found the act of smoking on many levels to be extremely repulsive.

I found it strange and foreign for someone to be lifting a white shaft of paper filled with dried brown stuff to their mouths and lighting it with a flame, sucking it, and inhaling and exhaling the smoke. The movements of the body to tap the pack of cigs repeatedly, open it, remove a cig, tap the cig to further compact the contents, lift it to one's mouth and then light it while further witnessing the act of smoking it. The body motions of holding the cig and how one actually smokes it. The flicking of the ashes and tapping into an ashtray. And the eventual accumulation of spent and bent butts lying in an ash-filled tray. The sight of a filled ashtray just as visually disgusting as an open hole in an outhouse filled with nastiness.

The effects on the body and mind are insidious. Also the effects on other's surrounding air and the potential for second and even third hand smoke related toxins making others sick.

It is slow suicide. And I would question seriously the judgment of someone who does this to themselves.
And I have found that I cannot really hang around people who smoke while they are smoking. The visual, the smell and whole scene is just so repulsive to my senses that I remove it from my reality as much as possible.

Same thing with alcohol and drinkers. Same thing with drug use.

I have gone through all of this extensively in my life and came out the other side to totally dismiss it all and leave it totally behind.
They are scourges upon human potential and lead one away from realizing who they are or can become during their personal evolution.

I truly, cannot for the life of me, figure out how humanity still smokes.

And on suicide , what makes the life taker so sure that things will actually get better with death ?
It might make things worse like dropping down a snake in snakes and ladders



SAMSARA


Your a tough guy to please QSC , i like the high standards

yeah, tapping the cigg carton is like making sure the remaining ducks are in a row. such a wasteful drug habit too in the sense that usually a drag or two will suffice and more than half of a cig goes to the ground or tray. and people usually wont relight one, theyll open their box to get a brand new one. didnt tsarion say that the box has sacred ratios to make smokers enjoy opening the box more?

Misandry - Men are Disposable

this is quite interesting , watched the first part and just shows the power of words and presentation to massage the truths

ive watched as womens lib has grasped back what it called equality for women , and i actually always agreed that women should be seen as same importance as guys but then something interesting happened and here is my example .............In wimbledon , the tennis tournament , for years women demanded equal prize money as the men , ok lets look at the situation ,,,the mens game is absolutely crammed full of great talent , a guy in the 150 in the world on a good day could beat the number 1 on his bad day
The guys play the best of 5 sets

The womens game is no where near as deep in talent as the mens, meaning that the top rated womens players get an easy ride , in addition to that, the women only play best of 3 sets for exactly the same prize money as the men .

Can someone please explain to me the logic or reason in such equal prize money under these conditions , surely the reasonable thing to do was to give the women 3/5ths of the mens prize money , either that or make the women also play the best of 5 sets

Now am i being unreasonable i my thoughts or wtf is going on with womens de3mands nowadays , are they being infested psychologically with the same power crazed mania that did for many a guy and turns them into numbskulls ?

Ofh the violence is horrific on these clips

Agreed, what you put out you should get the same return. So those tennis gals are going against life's official game rules.

It's sickening, men and women being promoted in this society to be violent against each other. And on a massive mind control scale at that! So people go ahead beat the hell out of each other.
If they were robots, maybe that would teach them! Or like me programmed to not like to watch violence. Normally I could watch those scenes, but not hardly anymore. LOL, but really the manipulations have got to stop.
Society has made it okay to be violent and since that is the male energy, active, it is imposed or done by the males .

Society's unhealthy, dark conscious is starting to get men to make the situation worse and everyone's rights go downhill, but as males are being more assualted, they feel injustice and it causes even more division. They should be trying to stop society from causing more hate and all that and not reacting harshly which creates more problems, like the feminist movement gone bad, getting females to react dysfunctionally. They got Chris Rock saying no one gives a fuck about men, and that's sad, because that's how folks are being programmed because of their beliefs and actions very wrongly given to them by a sick society.
Values, and morals are gone nowadays all that is left is hate. A form of feeding. Just as the parasite wants it.
I understand looking after oneSELF. And it contains both male and female, I won't be disregarding either.

It's just stunning how the male and female energies are used against there own self in manipulating ways.
I noticed how amazingly they play with the male and female energies. The male is outward so he is to be violated publically and the female passive or inner, so she is to be violated behind closed doors.
It's deceptive that the media just focuses on who they are trying to control. Folks who are industrialized. So back then when women didn't have rights it was them being disposable. Now it' men.
But folks forget, that women in third world countries are the ones violated and disposed of, not the males. I saw a documentary on an African tribe and the women spoke with the host and said they get tired of being baby machines and sold, (not in those words) but would get killed if they spoke up.
It's good that alot of industrialized baby maker machine women died in childbirth. They already had no life.


Women are not shown tortured or killed in public, I wonder why? Does the human feel guilty deep down somewhere knowing someone as helpless as a female who is not likely (except for nowadays, women are just as violent as men these days, but since they weren't in the past, the behavioral rules haven't changed, so you don't see one on one, male and female duking it, except for in my Dad's family!LOL) to do something that causes them to be physically attacked. Or else do they get beat up enough behind closed doors, domestic violence, that they don't need to be tortured more in public.

"And it contains both male and female, I won't be disregarding either."

I dunno im against homosexuality and think that the perception of their self is corrupted if a man thinks his ass is a vagina. i hear gays say they're born that way or it hit me in puberty. but in my opinion its a vulnerability.

two gay examples come to mind. someone indo person i knew thought his bum was a vagina and even liked to dress like a girl. he went to bathhouses and had lots of anonymous sex and contracted hiv. this particular person ...liked to get basically sexually molested by strangers, who he, in the moment could i guess pretend that he was a girl being loved, so therefor in his fantasy of being a pretty girl, he would share his vagina with some guy (actually his anus) and be willing to suck dicks.

ok so this particular "living out" of homosexuality is risky behavior. and maybe some gay people can do monogamy and wear condoms all the time and act prude. but maybe this is merely disguising a psychology derangment by living it out in safe behaviours. thats what i believe. i dont believe this brown/indo person i knew was living out normal thought patterns in an abnormal expression.


another gay person i know is japanese and i got him to admit he wants children, he likes kids, but he doesnt or cant like girls. but he has pretty much no testosterone. he also has been vulnerable to some risky behaviour, he dated guys in their early 30's, did drugs with some of his boyfriends. looked for validation. but i just feel this is a broken-ness of his spirit. ive never known any lower class gay people who could be as happy as straight lower class males. yuppie gays can be positive high energy people because their socioeconomics and alpha male incomes and genetics allow them to enjoy life to the point where their homosexuality doesnt hamper their psychology.

i dont know, i dont buy it because i feel that homosexuality is a problem with a person, but also because, you shouldnt buy anything that society sells you, just like those documentaries show. people can think they have the right idea like women are weaker, but yet miss the logic that men still receive violent crime 3x as much. homosexuality is promoted with the metro-sexual veil and other less blunt methods. i wouldnt trust it. they're promoting a disease but tyhey're selling it as a need for society to embrace these things as they're just quirks and harmless expressions. being wrong or deviant becomes being unique and fresh.

So therefore, be careful imo when you think that men and women have both male and female energies or are allowed to cultivate it. I only borrow yin so far as to tame my yang. i would never want my yang replaced. it is the master energy because i am that side of the coin.

even lady gaga is promoting androgeny now. it really makes me wonder when i think of baphomet and how he is supposedly the dick/boob god and represents evil. what kindof truth is there to that........................

the world seems to want to lose its princibles on everything in the name of freeing ourselves from outdated systems.
western culture teenage pregnancy and abortion is a problem. in the "outdated" system of arab culture, women are oppressed because if they cheat or have premartial sex they can be killed legally. so which system is better. as unfair as arab religion and law might feel, i still feel it is superior merely on the fact that it is built upon princible. maybe it could be executed better with some reform, maybe massive reform. but it is based on princible. like samurai who kill themselves when their honor was lost.

life is really not worth anything unless theres princible and virtue behind it. if youre gay you've disregarded youre manhood without even trying to understand what could be wrong. gay people accept who they are based on the fact that they FEEL gay. how can feeling alone defiinitively proove if one should be gay. or how does feeling something proove that that is what should continue to be felt? or that that is what can only be felt? i had serious anger problems, still kindof do. its a problem. but i helped it. the key triggers dont even really get me going anymore. cause i worked on it. this was natural but i worked to rid myself of it because it was a disharmony potential. it strained relationships with everyone and if i wanted to live a better life i had to do something about it. people used to say i had rageahol as a joke but they dont even bring it up anymore cause its been reduced.


i dunno what if...you gotta think like that. what if being gay really is a bad thing? what are we supposed to do about it. how can we hope to help people. where do you start studying to find the problem and cure it at all levels. what would the cure rates be?

or is it just normal to fuck poo

i used to be completly anti-gay, but although i still dont know any gay people at least as far as im aware , because there are still many in the closet im sure , i have thought about why i was repelled by them and wondered if that in itself was natural or was it just an early cultural conditioning in me , my conclusion was to accept both possibilities and then just monitor the gayness equation as i encountered it in life trying to minimise prejudice

where i see it growing is in the communities of theatre art and media , that seems to be the main hub of its outness and progressive advertising for recruits
Dirk benedict talked about the feminisation of television since the 1980s and in the uk, there has been the gayanisation of television since the 90s also the pop world is littered with gay guys struggling to come out and then be treated like some homecoming hero for doing so, that is the side of it that used to make me cringe

I then started to wonder wtf was the attraction in gayness, but had to then consider how many different varietys of male gayness there is from the outrageous effeminate to the absolute machoman
So they seek intimacy and power and sadism and masochism through their couplings

The poo insertion could be painfull or pleasurable as the man has sensual areas to be amplified in his ass, but french kissing or dicksuckin a sweaty guy ? all these pursuits i can not understand the atttraction

Then i had to consider what is it in a woman that a hetrosexual man prefers and there are many similarities apart from the fact that he puts it in the velvet glove rather than trap 2 although some do trap 2 as well

So im still not sure why a guy prefers another guy to a woman, but i think finally it musty be related to an attraction to the male hard on, because that is truly the one distinctive difference from a woman

Highnoon, huge misunderstanding, was not talking about homosexuality at all. But yeah, I understand what you meant . I'm sure you know about the animus and anima. Those are natural in a person.

I have family and friends who are gay and I'm quite aware and have studied them for a long time. So I'm not talking hate or delusions here. This is very real and personal.
Homosexuality is a major deviant behavior and not natural, neither is getting abused. That is one reason why males and females turn homosexual. These days it's the environment/aka estrogen turning males homosexual but that's another story. And then some gay folks claim they were not molested, that's great, but there is the other abuse, neglect, emotional, broken family and that is the other side of the story and how people turn gay.
Growing up with a single mother, males can also turn gay because they were raised by females only who don't know how to raise a boy into a man.

And then when these children grow up? they get upset if you tell them they are a product of societies harshness and not born gay. WHEN IN REALITY THEY ARE A PRODUCT WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT, ALMOST EVERYONE IS! AND BY ALL MEANS THAT DOESN"T MAKE THEM BAD PEOPLE. Just that things are so messed up in this world they can't see how it majorly affects and creates them.

two gay examples come to mind. someone indo person i knew thought his bum was a vagina and even liked to dress like a girl. he went to bathhouses and had lots of anonymous sex and contracted hiv. this particular person ...liked to get basically sexually molested by strangers, who he, in the moment could i guess pretend that he was a girl being loved, so therefor in his fantasy of being a pretty girl, he would share his vagina with some guy (actually his anus) and be willing to suck dicks.

That is so very important to know, that is the key right there! They need to be molested because they were when they were young and that's what turned them gay. Just like some folks can't get turned on unless beaten, that goes for straight gals who were abused.

Sexuality in a human is one of those things that can be very easily manipulated. Just look in the media, they are the one doing it. Not much can be studied or allowed to be known in that area, because then lightbulbs will turn on and folks will finally SEE, whoa who the hell am I!!! And really what the hell is supposed to be natural, because folks sure the heck never were or were of much of anything!
Having attraction to something beautiful whether it's male or female is a natural thing thought, but as usual society has turned it all backward and perverted.
In this mad world it is perfectly normal to (delusionaly) believe that you are yourself, YOU MUST ALWAYS BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE.
So yes, if a male wants to turn himself compeletely into a gal in the name of gayness (dysfunctional) that is very abnormal, especially trying to rid thereself of all their energies, male/female and all else.

Homosexuality is a disease of society.
There are few who are born that way, just as some turn out as hermaphrodites, but not most people, environment is so powerful it molds people, and so most homosexuals are the way they are because of that.

So therefore, be careful imo when you think that men and women have both male and female energies or are allowed to cultivate it. I only borrow yin so far as to tame my yang. i would never want my yang replaced. it is the master energy because i am that side of the coin.

Yin and yan are not master energies at all, but useful in these realms. Nor is the male or female energy who you really are. Please do not replace your male energy with the female like a gay person does.
Balancing the energies are wonderful. I'm talking about inward now, not what you are on the outside. You should have as much yin as yang energy. So you are as much male as female. Your female energy and intuition is the one that tells you something is not right with this world if men can get in touch with that, then their male energy can act upon that. But no, men have to be all male macho and that makes them the real cowards and do nothing for themselves.

the world seems to want to lose its princibles on everything in the name of freeing ourselves from outdated systems.
western culture teenage pregnancy and abortion is a problem. in the "outdated" system of arab culture, women are oppressed because if they cheat or have premartial sex they can be killed legally. so which system is better. as unfair as arab religion and law might feel, i still feel it is superior merely on the fact that it is built upon princible. maybe it could be executed better with some reform, maybe massive reform. but it is based on princible. like samurai who kill themselves when their honor was lost.

Interesting you mention the arab religion, what part is superior in your opinion. The women getting killed for what they do was never outdated. And never acceptable in any circumstance or space in time.

i had serious anger problems, still kindof do

the female energy that you can cultivate inside of you can help you with that.

OKAY FOLKS OUT THERE, WAKE UP, REALIZE YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF AND DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHO YOU MAY BE.

AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY, BECAUSE OF FUCKING SOCIETY!! It has the gays get so mad and make them believe or brainwashed that they were born that way. Oh, society says we are normal! If they only know it was SOCIETY THAT FUCKED THEM UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
And then on the other hand gays have to hide because of their dysfunction, which is real sad. Because they are in need of major help and society shuns them. It's like shunning a mentally and sexually abused person, just because
they were abused!

Oh and it's just fucking coincidence that the male's that who were molested as kids on their Native reservation, either turned out gay, or with some other dysfunction. YEAH RIGHT, JUST TRY TO MAKE ME UPSET, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, behind the mass fucked up conscious. HAVING THEM AND EVERYONE BELIEVE THEY WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY!!

I better find me yin energy quick!

There is ample evidence in the uk to illustrate that a very high percentage of boys that attend boarding schools become gay , they are exposed to predator gay lecturers or authority figures in these dens of perversion and they are also exposed to other naked boys on a very high percentage of their time during the sexual formation years

Full moon madness, computer rage time! LOL
Those things are said with a grain of salt, been tested too many times to get imbalanced like that, just trying to get a grip on reality. Thank you great Moon up there.

There is ample evidence in the uk to illustrate that a very high percentage of boys that attend boarding schools become gay , they are exposed to predator gay lecturers or authority figures in these dens of perversion and they are also exposed to other naked boys on a very high percentage of their time during the sexual formation years

Yeah and how on earth can a person HAVE ALL the evidence in front of them and not see it. Do they even have eyes anymore, I'm afraid not!

And why is that not being studied. So people will know the real facts.

There is more than just manipulating sexuality.

Which begs the question............Is a human even natural? No. Is destruction natural, no. Are the behaviors natural, no. Why is that. Genetic manipulation perhaps, besides the enviro. Until the next Creator or Being decided to make
another species like us, that is not a vessel or a tool, then it will be more natural or free I mean.

"Your female energy and intuition is the one that tells you something is not right with this world if men can get in touch with that, then their male energy can
act upon that"

yeah like scout and soldier.


what i mean is about arab society is that they have princibles and high expectations. they're trying to accomplish something by being so strict. and females know the consequences. i mean in canada weed is decriminalized so i dont ever think twice about holding it when i used to do it. but if i went to america, id be too scared to smoke weed. i know usa laws are bad, but when you know something is so strict. why play around and play with fire. ive played with fire before though in drug use and alcoholism, because it was kindof a hidden tax that didnt hit me right away so i didnt think i was in danger. but when the consequences are immediate. i stay away from those behaviors. these girls in these countries who have love affairs, it may be sad that they find true love and get punished. but you know the rules that will come down on you if you're caught. but they did it anyway. they had the guts to do it ( i wouldnt have such guts to anger such a society), so they should understand their predicament when they're standing blindfolded about to be stoned to death. thats all.

but also i respect the premise of believing in something and being radical about something. because i respect revolution and uprising. because i do i have to respect those who believe they think they are making rules based on princible. thats different from western societies rules who make laws based on ulterior motives, means to an end thinking. western thinking trying to achieve a better society for the benefit of the elite. these other counties believe they have integrity and purpose to their laws and religion. what is bad about that though. is that they wont reflect on how to better implement their ideology. like fifa soccer not using cameras and instant replays, but having a bad world cup to have to reconsider. it shouldnt take bad press to cause a ruler to reconsider his stances. society should be in a constant state of refinement to make the system work better and to clearly achieve something that everyone believes in.

these muslim girls are muslim and belive in allah, but they want to cheat in areas where the religion is being too hard on them. like a fair weather believer, but if you offered them some kindof idea like, well theres other places in the world like the usa where you can fuck all you want and even abort your children as many times as you want. they'd be like. well i could never leave iran. no money and opportunity. but then you could say to them, well what IF you could, would you? they would say yes i would. id goto usa in the hopes of doing what i want when i want and living the american dream. but then you would also finally ask them. but would you remain muslim? they'd go of course! i love my religion i could never convert to anything else or become atheiest. but then you'd have to say well sorry, you cant goto america unless you also denounce islam. but they probably wouldnt. they want to be islamic ...AND live a western lifestyle. have the blessing of allah on THEIR terms.

what the fuck is that shit? lost all concern about their hopes and dreams just because thats a ridiculous expectation, their society is more virtuous than any kind of have cake and eat it too way of thinking.

Why did the son commit suicide Flames , was no public reason given , i suppose there never is in most cases , people are just left to pick up the pieces of existence

Heres another Suicide report , recently a man in scotland apparently wilfully drove his car into a body of dark water , sank and died , it was said that he had previously been in debt , and had been on anti-depressants , but also that he was a Star Wars Fan and had texted to his wife before the incident that he was going to top himself and May the Force b With You ... a star wars phrase

Now in addition to that incident, i myself recently had to visit a gent whom i was forewarned he had just tried to take his own life by jumping off a huge bridge but had landed on Silt and been rescued by passer by
I was careful about any conversation i had with this gent but he volunteered many snippets of info to me , not mentioning the suicide attempt
He had said that he was just out of hospital and still on some form of antibiotics, he had officially been in hospital for 5 months, but he said he had completely lost track of time and thought it was much less than that , he had some form of superbug called mesa or something but he said he had been given so many different types of tablets during the time that he wasn't sure any more if he was dreaming or if it was reality , but the final thing he told me was what really raised my attentions , he said that for some reason he thought he had been taking part in star wars, and kept seeing and hearing the characters in that like it was reality

Ok this is a morbid co-incidence that 2 suicide cases have a connection between chemicals , star wars and suicide , and its revelation shook me a little

Who knows what some of these new pills can do to the mind and the judgement between values in reality and dreamland