Getting very personal...

i dont know. they did beat up my mom for giving birth to me. like actually punched her and slapped her while she was still in the hospital. i guess just to do a bit of trauma and discourage her from having more kids i suppose.
my biological grandparents who are very christian..fought for over a year to gain custody but failed when it really should have been a simple matter of them showing the system they had the capabilities of raising me. they were respectable and known people in their town which is a christian community.
im not sure if they know this date..but if they did, i feel like they wouldnt recognize its esoteric meaning anyways.


its just statistically speaking..my adoption date could have been many other days of many other months. so because its statistically improbable. and because of the satanic nature of social services, i feel like its plausible to think it wasn't random.

cant really think too much other than..those fucking meddling assholes.

I have to go find myself...get whole again...go identify my emotional disorders....

This is a mandala...

Carl Jung discussed mandalas and used to draw them:

The psychoanalyst Carl Jung saw the mandala as "a representation of the unconscious self," and believed his paintings of mandalas enabled him to identify emotional disorders and work towards wholeness in personality.

Flames, I think it is recurring. Maybe it was subconscious (your earlier post on mandalas)
when I found this - again - on the therapeutic effects of drawing mandalas? Should have
probably connected it with your earlier mandala post.

You know, when you put that post up when you did I actually went to the store close to here and
bought a good compass and some pencils - really, I did. But I didn't have the patience to work
on drawing them for very long.

Considering what I know now about vortex technology (Marko Rodin's spirals) the geometric
symmetry of the mandala focuses the mind on the divine. I'm pretty sure that's why they are so
good at stabilizing the emotions.

Gilchrist said people come to mandalas (sacred geometry) 'intuitively'; that's the divine speaking
to us. The only thing I disagree with Gilchrist on is the use of the word 'God.' This word should
be scrubbed from everyone's vocabulary. Why? Because it shows incompetency. Of course,
Gilchrist doesn't know this.

There are very significant reasons why the word 'God' should not be used. It was a creation of Papal
Canon law to force obedience.

Flames, I think the human mind has been split and the duality is what is 'imperfect.' We're too left
brained and that was intentional. It is better to have a dominant left brain because it serves the
system of commerce better. See: Julian Jaynes The Origin of Consciousness and the Break Down of the
Bicameral Mind.

You're right, I also think the mystical nonsense is just that: a bunch of horse shit. The universe is
very simple and in that simplicity sacred geometry exists. The problem as I have come to understand
is that the destructive duality through the cabbalah has been used to create a fake existence.

Fascinating, Flames. Perhaps we can share experiences after several months of drawing out elaborate
mandalas; think I'll try to break my habit of laziness and attempt drawing a few. Do you color the
mandalas after you draw them?

Imagine the dude sneezes right in the middle of designing this elaborate mandala with colored sand?

This is a really good instructive start at creating a mandala...

Flames, the suggestion is to listen to music while creating a mandala. I can just see myself doing this
with Led Zeppelin playing in the background off my Bose speakers?

No, not specifically "engineered into existence" to serve a class that have positioned
themselves as owners. This term is very suspect because it leads us where? That our
fate is inevitable? I don't buy it.

They've created laws for themselves for private gain and have hidden from us their
intent by altering the language we use. The words we use create their commerce.

The word 'their' needs to be qualified and I have used it for illustrative purposes only.

The one thing that is sacrosanct is free will; this makes 'engineering' possible but only
because people have given up their free will.

just want to delete what i wrote and use this time and space to say im sorry to anybody on this board if i said anything of a bad nature or just aggravated on anybodies senses from what i have written.

just want to start now towards watching my actions and paying more attention to what i put in. because i think ive gotten what i deserve in general and ive gone left too many times when i shouldve gone right and i knew i should be going right.

im not really too sure why i dont treat myself better. i should realize that not eveybody will react to me in a positive way and thats not something to take to seriously. to even dwell on it just makes it appear to be a bigger problem or even a problem at all.

i should know better.



i could write to every message board. i just am using this one cause i dont think it minds that much and i just need to put it out there so the "universe" knows ive communicated it at least once.

if anyone notices a change over the coming months in any way at all. and dont make a note to do this....but if you remember...just send me a pm or something and just communicate what you've noticed because it might help me to hear that whatever change occurs that its being noticed on some level.


Best regards.

Deleted post...

Highnoon,

you will find people who will open their minds to you, sometimes
you will find people who will open their hearts to you..sometimes

But you will only find a few moments in your life in which somebody will open their mind & heart to you simultaniously.

As there is nothing more dangerous a human could ever attempt in our environment we call "civilisation".

How do you think we got to this point, living the way we do?

On the other hand you can cultivate this attitude of wholeness, to go thru the world with an open mind & heart, and just watch the little policemen inside people's head to crawl from underneath that mental scrap heap.

It is not you vs them, it never has been; it is themselves vs their own existence and the pain it causes!

The secret of the mandala, as I have discovered it, is to focus on the pain [instead of avoiding pain]. To walk thru the lake of fire is to purify the spirit. Pain dissapears if one moves right into it's very center...to feel it in it's totality - then it MUST subside - as it get's consumated by your spirit [conciousness]. This is how it works, and it is true for any kind of pain, be it physcial, emotional or spiritual pain. People have forgotton to deal with pain appropriately, hence their constant attempt to avoid pain, which in essence not only prolongs pain, but increases the intensity. A mandala can be helpful to concentrate on pain and to search for the exact location within self.

I know you are a good spirit. So do you

Halloween has become popular in Norway the past few years, so now we have kids showing up for candy.

My favorite candy as a kid...

The Charms Blowpop...good flavor hard candy shell with bubble gum in the center...mmmmm. The Tootsie-Roll centered lollipop came in a close second to the blow pop.



M & Ms plain...I no longer like these as an adult and now only prefer plain quality dark and milk chocolate all by itself...


Jujyfruits...these things would stick to your teeth a something fierce...which is why they were so good. Gummi Bears come in a close second.



Raisinets...


Tangy Taffy...


Big League Chew Shredded Bubble Gum...made to simulate chewing tobacco and came in its own pouch. Or one could go for the traditional Bazooka bubble gum.



Red Hots


Now and Later...these were so sticky when you bit down on them that they could rip out a filling.


Candy Canes or Starlight Mints...



Brach's Butterscotch Disks. The also make cinnamon hard candies that were a favorite.


Milk Duds...another chewy one that will rip out a filling.























[quote]

But now that I am older, cut this stuff out and eat well...then I can't really eat candy because I can taste the chemicals or low quality of the ingredients.
So some chocolate or a small hard candy may be all I use for a fix. Other than that it is fruit.

These are really good...
http://www.avogel.co.uk/herbal-remedies/echinacea-lozenges/

i still partake in some high quality chocolates myself in addition to some other addictfoods but with the self monitoring eye

re: Halloween and sugar.

Sugar plantations and slave labor so plebeian children can run around neighborhoods
dressed as goblins on October 31st Reformation Day (thank Queen Victoria for that
decree).

Ditch the white processed sugar in which monopolists have cornered the market on
and price and let's get back to the idea of reformation in a very big way.

American consumption of white sugar is unprecedented with the average consumption
per American approaching something like 100 pounds per year (that might be a bit high).

Americans' consumption of sugar "unprecedented"

The British elite must be in a deep cynical laugh watching plebeians existence? Is
it any wonder they abuse their children re: pedophile networks.

And the winner is?

Hershey

My dog bit me the other day. Chomped down without breaking the skin on my left hand, where the meaty muscle meets the thumb.
The story as to how and why it happened goes like this. It was the culmination of just over a few months of great changes both in environment (locale, guests both human and canine, a lack of healthy activity) and my own disposition. All the events prior, hyper focalized into this one reactionary violent experience.
The evening of this incident began like many had in these past weeks. It was dinner time and the guest dog (her name is Coco and she is a feisty lil bitch,  super cute and intelligent just been mistreated) and Mr. Bugsy were excited as usual. I give them food at the same time, same place.
Bugsy gets three times as much as coco due to his ginormity and he still finishes before coco. So I wait and stand in between to allow him to pass outside and make a potty without coco snapping for being disturbed while eating. This time was different in that I've been moody, inconsistent and mean for longer than two weeks ( Within two months time I've moved, had two house guests, lost income and survived one of the worst flu's I've ever had). As bugsy went to pass he turned his head towards coco's bowl and I yelled NO and went to push him away.
He turned, bit down then released just like that.
Then he waited for my reaction and by the look of him, he expected me to react with a beating (I don't beat my dog, but I do yell just as painfully). To tell you truly that is how I wanted to react. I couldn't believe in that moment how this dog could do such a thing.
I can still see the moment of horrific expression on his face, in my mind.

Bugsy is not a bad dog and he'd never done this before. Afterwards he apologized profusely as did I too him, I knew this happened because of me.
All this stress, anger, sadness and frustration he felt just as much as me... in a way. He did what he did out of fear. He was afraid of me and did what dogs do when they are in frightened or anxious. They react instinctively to avoid and deter any threat.

In those moments I got to see a very ugly picture of myself reflected back from the eyes of an honest creature.

Bugsy and coco have taught me many things these past few months, and I am grateful for the lessons.  

Just continuing on from the mandala drawing discussion earlier in this thread. It is something I have done on occasion and agree it is a great practice when feeling off center. As for music to go along with such sessions I suggest this......

bluemars is ambient with beats, cryosleep is nearly beatless, and voices within is chanting


http://echoesofbluemars.org/index.php

when people of A culture hand in their free will, it ruins for those practical freedoms enjoyed by those practicing culture at the time and the next younger coming up. It also make me wanna puke.

I write my posts, descriptions, passwords, and profile preferences. why ?
anything less is an ART FORGERY.

when people of A culture hand in their free will, it ruins daily practical freedoms enjoyed by those practicing culture at the time; in that place and most certain for the next generation coming up which likely never know the current state of ease. my sports is pointing the disgusting immature gesture of eyes down, chin tucked side long glance that highlights a citizen of questionable humanity.


It also make me wanna puke.