Reconcilation post

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Reconcilation post

Post  highnoon on Sat 02 Jan 2010, 20:00

I want to attempt to reconcile any wrongness i have in this matter of my existance in this community. I havnt done anything wrong but i know i am considered to be someone who has done damage to the "scene" of the former community. An explicit explanation directed towards me might encourage me to apologize if you can make me feel ashamed, but at the moment i am firm in my belief i havnt done any wrong to anyone except for the fact that i have posted under a pseudonym and not my last and somewhat recognized alias of apex.

specifically i want to ask quicksilver to bring up all problems you have with me in this thread in an attempt to resolve our personal conflict because i dont think i can enjoy myself in this company when i feel certain derisions from a few people, namely you.

ill give this thread a week and if theres no discussion ill believe that this thread has fallen upon deaf ears who do not wish to make things better, and ill leave this forum.

happy new year.

organizing my life is part of my new years resolution, nothing personal if i leave as a consequence of no responses from those i know harbor ill thoughts towards me or from any following mini drama

and yes i do post drunk 70% of the time....im an alcoholic
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  KapitanScarlet on Sat 02 Jan 2010, 20:39

HighNoon wrote:
specifically i want to ask quicksilver to bring up all problems you have with me in this thread in an attempt to resolve our personal conflict because i dont think i can enjoy myself in this company when i feel certain derisions from a few people, namely you.

was not aware of such a problem and most likely nothing to do with me, but if it is, if im one of the few people (better to say the names of them highnoon) then let me know the nature of the problem
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  tgII on Sun 03 Jan 2010, 00:12

Okay, Highnoon, I'll go for the bait, here goes...


  • I want to attempt to reconcile any wrongness i have in this matter of my existance in this community.


Why just this community or are you saying you are attempting to reconcile all
wrongness in all the communities you exist in and are using this small
community of ex-MTSAR abused children to find reconciliation?

Don't you just love that, "ex-MTSAR abused children?" Laughing

  • I havnt done anything wrong but i know i am considered to be someone who has done damage to the "scene" of the former community.


Why the guilt, you sound like an abused wife who blames herself because
her psycho husband beats her head against the kitchen sink? Former
community? Where might that be, the MTSAR Board? My friend, you
do not understand what damage is.

  • An explicit explanation directed towards me might encourage me to apologize if you can make me feel ashamed, but at the moment i am firm in my belief i havnt done any wrong to anyone except for the fact that i have posted under a pseudonym and not my last and somewhat recognized alias of apex.


So if you post in a drunken stupor 70 percent of the time how would
this in any way establish credibility with me as to your integrity? Why
the provocation, "if you can make me feel ashamed?"

  • specifically i want to ask quicksilver to bring up all problems you have with me in this thread in an attempt to resolve our personal conflict because i dont think i can enjoy myself in this company when i feel certain derisions from a few people, namely you.


Enjoy, is this what this is all about, "enjoying" yourself on an internet
board, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, this is something a drunk
would think.

When you take anything personal on a board such as this or any other
board for that matter, you are opening yourself up to only damaging
yourself. If there exists a derision, take the high road, Highnoon, there
are plenty of other topics of discussion that others may decide to
engage in with you rather than in the ditch slinging mud at each other.

    ill give this thread a week and if theres no discussion ill believe that this thread has fallen upon deaf ears who do not wish to make things better, and ill leave this forum.


What chutzpah, "I'll give this thread a week?" In fact, I have forgotten
completely about you until this recent gratuitous post. My ears were
already "deaf" until I took the bait here spending valuable time to respond
to you, you owe me a thank you.

  • happy new year.


"Happy?"

  • organizing my life is part of my new years resolution, nothing personal if i leave as a consequence of no responses from those i know harbor ill thoughts towards me or from any following mini drama


Does that "organizing" also include opening up a board of your own? Your
participation or non-participation on this board is of absolutely no
consequence to me.

  • and yes i do post drunk 70% of the time....im an alcoholic


You should have posted this from the outset, knowing this I probably
wouldn't have taken the bait here. Have a nice day.
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  quicksilvercrescendo on Sun 03 Jan 2010, 09:39

It took me a while to remember what it is that Apex is even talking about.

When Tsarion had re-opened his forum after the long lockdown and members were posting in an informative way, it was Apex that decided to post a couple of the "Anti-Tsarion Debunking-Type" videos.

It is quite obvious that this prompted Tsarion to shut down the forum and also delete many of the newer posts of other members that had nothing to do with it.

I then PM'd Apex and informed him that he was an...asshole.

He then PM'd me back a couple times repeating the Anti-Tsarion jargon and then began to tell me what my motives were for being on the MTSAR forum. Unfortunately, the accusations that I was a "follower" and a strict believer in Tsarion's message was inaccurate and a false one, and I informed him that he had mis-interpreted my reasons for participating on the forum.

But I really don't concern myself with it or you to any great extent Apex.
So the whole premise of your post here really need not be.
I have no time for grudges and shit like that...only time to read if someone has something interesting to post.
So there is no problems as far as I am concerned...so...have one on me..."bottoms up"..."skoal".
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  seraphim on Mon 04 Jan 2010, 08:06

Highnoon if you got to blow up you got to if under pressure that's kind of why I had the freestyle thread, but clearly this is something different maybe.

Thanks for bringing up reconciliation because I have some things to say and I really want to do that with some folks myself and hope you do to and that's really your intention. When I have a problem with someone I really try my best to move on, but before that I do what I can to realize what really happened and voice that and make amends.

Because I really want folks to evolve to move forward and cut away any karma that prevents them from growing. It bothers me when someone hurts themselves and even more so if I had anything to do with it, and then there's the pain that is really caused and inflicted by the person themself and a person can't grow when suffering. As crazy as it sounds, I would like for everyone in this world to break free and to do whatever they can do for themselves, but sometimes one ends up treading on another, but it's not intentional. A good motto: folks do not harm thyself anymore.

So I would like to tell quicksilvercrescendo some things myself. I'm sure you know who I am, and I sincerely apologize for any misunderstandings, if anything has been harbored I would like to mend. I'm learning not to get drawn into things on the internet, I was a newbie back then on the net and didn't know how interpersonal things could get.
It seems that you are on the right track and don't let any setbacks get you down and you have grown a lot in your life and I'm positive you realize that it's people themselves who are the source for their own lack and misery or anything in general. So it might sound cruel when you say whatever dude I don't consider myself with it or you, I would say the same thing myself and hope they understand it really is there problem not yours or mine.
So have one on me, a glass of really out of this world milk or wine!

Anyway I have let go and healed the karma I did to myself. It's unbelievable how a person can hurt themselves and I'm not immune to that. I'm learning to step out of the energy goings on.
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  KapitanScarlet on Mon 04 Jan 2010, 11:32

No Twisted Evil The psychopath in me enjoys others sufferings and no ones getting off the hook that easy

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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  highnoon on Mon 04 Jan 2010, 13:04

Im not drunk as of right now.

No i had good reason to make this post unspecific because i dont know who else is aware of what i did and just wasnt saying anything.

i just looked at the people signed up and tbonez i dont think is here. so its only really QSC who would have had a problem.

but you owe me an apology for what i posted, but thats only if you knew what i posted. since you dont know the value of what i posted, then your attitude is justified, however that doesnt mean i did anything wrong, but i was willing to apologize just to make sure i am not in a place i am uninvited to be in, because this isnt a large place and this was a private invitation to come here. but whatever i managed to compromise or give back, isnt going to be a full apology and apology to mtsar with cover letter cause i cant do that when were talking about my right to inquire into things or share knowledge or say what people dont want to hear, or give thought to.

the falling on def ears is fine because it means its under the bridge. but i figured that if nobody posted here to even let me know where things stood, or those who didnt know to ask what i was even talking about, then i could decide in that week to see if i want to remain here, because a no response could mean that those who still think how they did when the tsarion forum shut down, still think the same way but dont wish to communicate to make things better. so in that case, i would have to consider what it would mean to post in that kindof atmosphere. or i could let those people know i want to find a common ground or talk around it, because i feel guilty for maybe ruining your last forum


i dunno i think those are good handful of reasons

and as for wanting to spend my time better or whatever i said i just think everybody would want that, even if i was top poster or mod on a really big forum (these arent my goals when going to a forum), id be cooling my jets on research regardless. i just wanted to know where i was actually going when i came here.



Does that "organizing" also include opening up a board of your own? Your
participation or non-participation on this board is of absolutely no
consequence to me.


this is an ironic part of your post TGII because it implies a lot of self importance, which was set up and offset by the earlier part of your response in how you are doing me a favor to reply, so that maybe i will ignore or not see this chance for arrogance. by the time i read that part your response, i was already almost done reading all of it in general and you might have hopefuly built enough guilt into me for me to allow you to have that statement work. and youre right i dont even care, be as self important as you want, you do have the most posts so on that alone you win.

i just wanted to point out the irony, not to cause any pain or even say you arent allowed to say it.


Last edited by HighNoon on Mon 04 Jan 2010, 13:19; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  KapitanScarlet on Mon 04 Jan 2010, 13:15

Highnoon - i found this post of yours on the website of the dramaqueen
http://dream-warrior.bestforumonline.com/politics-news-f6/uri-s-critique-on-mtsar-revised-t196.htm

NOw i know from direct experience that the persona who runs that website calling herself her nth to the power handle currently "irony" on here has directly and deceptively manipulated posts on that forum to make out that posters have said things they never said .

For that reason of which i have endless evidence , i cant take anything for granted that is now displayed on that site .
THat is the price of her weakness, her word is not her bond

However my feeling is that that particular post is your own words but maybe you can confirm, and is that related to your post above here , beyond or even including the qsc item.

Its not my business what your thoughts are on michael tsarion, if you have a genuine critique and want to air it , then whats stoppin you , and i oppose something in it , then i would maybe counter it dependent on time and feeling or maybe not , i mean im not michael tsarion contrary to some nutcases opinions and very probably in many of the areas tsar operates, i would not have carried out the research myself to even enter into the debate in a serious intent of certitude , other people may debate you with fervour and even correct you or vice versa who knows .....

My own areas of speciality interest have not been publicly declared and so i am more of an observer and commentator on the dynamics of communications "particularly the undercurrent of subjective dialogue that exists in the psychic shadows " which i find to be one of the most neglected areas of study in any communication between people .

Every communication carries within it , potions of the 5 psychic influences , earth water air fire spirit , these are agents that speak directly to ones subjectivity sometimes retrospectively contrary to ones given public expression in any communication , because they do not always act instantly, sometimes they soak in slowly and may in retrospect conspire to oppose ones own previous reaction, this is then a major internal confrontation with the ego aspect of personality itself (which often tends to favour the fire and air components of expression)
But although each of these psychic components are active agents for the majority of beings , their potency is actually directly relative to the subjectivity intelligence of the reciever of them , so both parties or all parties have potential control of the "influence ball" at all times and not just the initial weaver of the fire air earth water or spirit

When a communication is in harmony , the spirit component is translated and this is felt as a direct positive action in the psyche, but maybe many people have had this sense confused and overthrown by outside influences or even conditioned aspects of the personality so lose track of its activitys as a feedback to a quality experience
At other times , one of the other components takes precedence , fire water air earth because something is not in balance, and so an amplification is necessary to try and either regain balance or manipulate it dependent on the current intention in the particular communication

That amplification would be the "personal Signature" of the particular communication and it may have a very powerful effect or not on the receiver of it

One of my interest is to study the signatures of peoples communications (including my own) and i am very aware of the importance of "attraction" and "repulsion" as a misrepresented or misunderstood guide
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  highnoon on Mon 04 Jan 2010, 14:22

Thanks for your concern iceman, its 100% appreciated. it shows how much you are actually on point with the metaphysical and with the yin side of human interaction.

the real problem i think is what i expect to gain with the tools i have as a person and with the company im in. im going to know things others dont. relevant and unrevelant to conspiracy. and im going to have tools express myself, being drunk doesnt help when i am. my method of doing things isnt at all the norm. my way of freehandedly talking about others or dropping names and then describing something about that person is going to be seen as obnoxious or uncomfortable, but if youre not comfortable youre going to make noise in that discomfort. and that shouldve been something everybody saw. is that their boundaries actually impose limits on what can transpire in the conversation setting because boundaries have rules. rules for what is said and rules and punishments that occur when those things are said for the things that are said, when if you just didnt have the rules, you wouldnt have a preset ABC reaction to highnoons DEF comment. if it gets to that point where you start to know peoples reactions before they happen, this is bad and not just in a tactical sense for giving others information for pushing buttons but it basically contricts movement which is antithetical to what were doing with our time i would want to believe. we shouldnt think about where were stepping if we all know where were all trying to go. ergo if the police sent to cops to a house and they are on radio one goes to the backyard one frontyard. do they have to radio each to hear responses for justification for why somebody walked somewhere or is taking too long under suspicion that both think the other is a dirty cop trying to ambush the other with the suspect? or do they just let each other move around the premises, in total trust that they arent going to get shot in the back after they've split up?
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Re: Reconcilation post

Post  KapitanScarlet on Wed 06 Jan 2010, 01:01

tsarion accusation posts been moved to their own thread in the personal section
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Re: Reconcilation post

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