Express yourselfs

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Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Sun 10 Oct 2010, 15:02

Gratuitous Self-indulgence expected.........My ego demanded that i put these parts up , i still suffer from some human frailtys Razz

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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  seraphim on Mon 18 Oct 2010, 07:39

What a nice trip Kapis and how much you discover. How neat can that be!
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Wed 20 Oct 2010, 00:48

The past can often re-tell itself with a revelation in the present
And revelation is according to Emerson the disclosure of the soul
Simultaneously , the soul arouses as the conscious perception detects something that has aroused it and its arousal
Simultaneously a story is reflected to its author as the conscious i recognises the spectrum of communications that are all around it in speech, gestures, signs and symbols, nature, all random and yet maybe not always so random , that is a question that leads to the further inquiry of the soul and of that little mysterious conscience
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Fri 22 Oct 2010, 01:43

Thank you for sharing that truth - Passion is the Point! (I almost missed it.)

That was just one part of 4 parts of the universally perceivable visible splash, but the incoming psychic/intellectual/emotional waves from those splashes can only really be comprehended by moi , because they are strictly intimate to me only.
That is me and the imagined author of these splashes , be it chance or delusion or illusion or God, but it was indeed a synchronistic circumstance from which a period of appllied self examination found its reflection and then altered route of inquiry
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Thu 11 Nov 2010, 16:33

Bobdog wrote:
I feel I can offer intelligent dialog regarding strictly my own experience with depression, not depression in general. As you say, there may not be an "universal appliable depression." Even a clinically defined understanding of depression does not match my own experience with it, although the numerous therapists who diagnosed me would disagree.
After spending enough time "on the couch" I began to understand a standard method by which the vast majority of these psychologists and psychiatrists practice their craft: Identify the patient's symptoms, find the diagnosis with the most in-common number of identified symptoms, prescribe medication and adjust dosage over time as necessary.
I suppose general health practicioners can be included in the above assumed senario as well. In fact, the last few times I've gone to see a "medical" doctor, I had the distinct impression that they didn't know anything at all about healing people. They simply entered my description of symptoms into a computer and the computer spit out a drug prescription. They might pull out the stethoscope for a moment and pretend to be checking my breathing, but that's just to hide their incompetence and make me feel like they were taking an active part in the diagnosis.

Unfortunately , my feeling and some obeservations of others getting medical attention is that you are correc t here, these people have no interest in the person apart from issuing a cure as they have been instructed to, and if that cure has no effect, then issue another cure, and if that cure has no effect or gets things worse, they pull out their ace cure, they blame the patient Very Happy

It reminds me of when I take my car to the mechanic. He hooks it up to a diagnostic machine that tells him where the malfunction is, what part needs to be replaced and the part number so he can order a new one. Nowadays, a nineteen year old kid can do the job of a car mechanic and a medical doctor.

I have encountered some car problems in my time, and with every single one, i learned early on, that it is a problem strictly for the owner, if you delegate it to someone else, you run the risk of making it much worse, and still remain ignorant at the end of the ordeal
By studying and solving my own car problems, i have learned immense wisdom in certain areas of deductive and inductive reasoning , sometimes i had to call on other minds to cross check certain things, and this led me to have new connections with people that created little memorable bubbles of experience on the road to the solution , whenever one solves a problem with the help of another, it leads to a great feeling afterwards as the initial mystery of the problem now forms its own sense , and that sense is anything but restricted to the mechanical, it has to do with management of emotion and the ability to think laterally with the intellect, a great way for a person to learn to think and act from thought for themselfs .
Many problems at a certain point, just about drive you mad, and the answer seems impossible, but then just by taking some time away from the problem , reading something , talking to someone, sleeping, all of a sudden at the next attack on the problem, a breakthrough is achieved, and then it all seems so simple, the problem always is a problem of unfamiliarity, make yourself familiar with the phenomena of the problem and then the mystery starts to unwind, it is often logical but also often a lateral path that leads to a solution .
Each problem solved is a sort of credit deposit in the faith bank manifesting as inner resources


Without elaborating unnecessarily, my depression was caused by the withdrawl of the substance I chose to mask a childhood pain which I had refused to acknowledge. The pattern is fairly typical; I've sat through support group meetings full of people who all followed this same basic path:

1. Living through a traumatizing event or series of events, collectively becoming a process which retards one's inner growth, reducing self-esteem and exagerating ego.
2. Turning to various ways and means of masking the pain that this creates, (substance abuse).
3. These ways and means usually result in addiction to them, which in turn results in having to seek help to overcome the addiction to those substances one chose to hide from the pain in the first place.
4. Initial abstinence from these substances creates depression or rage because the original pain which one chose not to deal with is now felt.
5. If abstinence is maintained and skills are developed with which to cope with the pain, healing will begin and depression or rage will eventually pass.

A few things to note:

Above, step 1 typically takes place in childhood. It has been suggested that at some time in a person's childhood, when they are most vulnerable to outside influence, whoever is the most important person in that child's life at that time will be the one who gives that child his/her identity that he/she will live with for the rest of their life.

This was very profound to me. From the moment I first heard it, I knew it was true for me. From a very young age I both heard and had it demonstrated to me repeatedly from the person who mattered most to me that I wasn't worth a shit. Consequently, I proceeded to fulfill that destiny on a very deep, subconscious level.

In step 2, I found that alcohol masked the uncomprehendable pain I felt for so long. At the time I had no self-awareness and therefore no understanding of what caused me to drink excessively. I also had no idea that I was drinking excessively. I thought it was normal to drink until I passed out every time. Didn't everyone drink like that?
Yeah , over here they do, it was in the culture

Step 3 took many years to reach, so by the time I quit drinking I was a full grown adult with the emotional ability of a child. When hiding from pain you don't give yourself the opportunity to grow emotionally or spiritually. Now I'm faced with two problems instead of one; my addiction to feeling good through alcohol and the original childhood pain which drove me to it.

Step 4 illustrates the two basic directions we can take with the reality we are faced with in Step 3. If I turn my pain in it manifests as depression. If I turn it out it manifests as rage. One hurts myself while one hurts others. I chose depression, but it was such a life-sucking experience at the time I was going through it I could never have agreed that I "chose" it. I was certain that it was dropped upon me by forces much greater than I.

This led me down a path through a whole gambit of feelings as I tried to "grow up" emotionally. First I hated myself, then I hated my parents, then I hated god, then I hated everyone else. Eventually, in order to emotionally mature, I had to take responsibility for myself, which meant not blaming others for my own choices.

Here's where so many who try to recover from substance abuse and establish a new sense of self-worth fail. It took years of self-destructive behavior to bring me to the "bottom" of life. Likewise, it takes years of self-edifying behavior to change the poor circumstances of living on the "bottom". At some point along the way, I take a good look at my life and wonder why things aren't getting better after I've got myself all cleaned up and am making the right choices. The reason is because feeling follows action. It takes a long time for feelings to catch up to my choices. Unlike when I was drinking to drown out pain, where it only took about eight seconds before I started to feel better.

Just as i stated earlier that i believe thoughts follow new feelings, its also true for me what you say here that feelings follow experiences which then may take shape in thoughts

But I stuck with it and eventually the feelings did change and my depression ended. This was the most difficult challenge of my life, for when I was suffering with it I wanted to kill myself every day for about four years straight. So it was very real for me.

But that was a long time ago and since then, the gift of self-awareness has been both a blessing and a curse for it has shown me new demons which won't leave through simple confrontation. Instead, it has turned into this consuming power struggle between my ideal self and a much darker aspect which I do not identify as part of the true "me". I am being hijacked by an alien force but it is much different than depression. I do not believe depression can hold any power over me any longer. That is a bomb I have already defused.


Ok so you define the actual pinnacle of the depression as wanting to kill myself every day for 4 years which suggests a complete loss of faith, hope and self-worth which would say to me that the thing that western society defines as depression means a consistent loss of faith . hope and self-worth over a period of time, such that the self can no longer carry out the every day living maintenance for itself, and may be a danger to itself or to others .
I think this definition may fit for most cases defined by western medicine and even people whom experience these states may even identify themselves as depressed

But then for exceptional people like yourself, whom have risen out of the depression, you then come to notice that there may be a little more to this depression condition than what was formerly thought , it may not just be down to you yourself struggling with your experiences and thoughts , it may be that something "alien" is generating the type of energy that feeds the conditions, something on the spiritual plane .

And as a level of evidence towards that notion , as in , where the spirit could be hiding in manifestation, it is completly true that every bottle of alcohol and every plant contains "spirit" and if a person ingests that "spirit" then they are allowing foreign spirits into them which may or may not do them good dependent on the spirit condition that it was ingested in. But either way, that spirit will have an effect, if not today, then at some future point, because a spirit is timeless and could react in a delayed manner at a future time , (withdrawal symptoms)


Off course i remember that you only took those contained spirits to deal with an initial condition .
But doctrines, psychological conditioning by parents or friends or lovers, all these things can be interpreted as entitys because concepts affect consciousness , that is why an insult can hurt so bad for some .
You may have been conditioned to feel worthless through many many repetitive experiences so that the feelings that come from that then generate their own condition in a closed feedback loop
Locked in a psychological prison whose exit is labyrinthual to detect and exhaustive to conceive of trekking through. And nobody around to guide you out. you are fortunate to have escaped these clutches only now to identify other layers of clutches also to be engaged with, but i think the worse part is over , because now you can think and act as you choose, some people are way too far down for even that luxury , but that is a matter of opinion , if that be worse or better



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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  Sputnik on Thu 11 Nov 2010, 18:14

Ohh, I like to share an experience I had. Sometime before most of you even knew me I had a day of "depressionflu". One day I was lying in bed, not crying, not complaining...I only had this most dry question of all: WHY, why do I even exist in this world....and then I thought the unthinkable: I wish I would have never existed! All of a sudden I felt a strange thing, I could hear an angel cry, a sadness inexpressible (Elf, in my language), and I felt guilty because I made another being suffer with my thoughts. Needless to say...it matters not, we are not our thoughts, yet they drift into our minds like clouds shift into the sky, and we rather be careful what we wish for. Needless to say, I had a terrible challenge to pass due to that, and thankfully...a minute after that initial thought had infected my mind I thought, no, noo..there must be a reason for my existence, but I had to pay for it anyways. Now I am imune to such thoughtclusters.

This is true, never wish to not exist....even comitting suicide is less gievous.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Sat 13 Nov 2010, 00:50

There must be a reason for my existence
And everyone can create new reasons every moment if they choose Smile
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  Sputnik on Sat 13 Nov 2010, 12:48

That's what I was talking about, not when the soul is disintegrating...

That's why decided to have a look into the Tibetan Book of the Dead because I heard they discuss this topic as well, and I like to hear what they got to say about it.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  seraphim on Wed 17 Nov 2010, 22:21

I'm proud of you bobdog. You did it! Now I understand why you say you can't do better but that others can and this and that. I know a few people who were told the same thing, they were not worth a shit growing up, so it caused them to do better in everything and excel. But they still carried the wound and excelling was kind of like a bandaid, hiding the cut. It really cuts a person's energetic field, whatever is left of it, and that makes them want to not live anymore.
The emotional sucked them dry. Alot of people don't realize that kind of abuse is very harmful when done to a child and it hurts them for life for so many. That kind of abuse happens all the time, and it's allowed to happen. Everything is taken out on children, as it is on animals. Luckily I didn't get my share of that kind of abuse until I was in high school, too late for it to have major affect on me, but I still feel the energetic imprints, I know they are still in me.
Don't know if living in dimensions has something to do with that, you heard the 4th lives off the third and the forth lives of the 2nd and so forth.

I learned early in life what alcohol could do to a person, and so never drank a beer in my life. I've drank just a few glasses of wine though. There were so many bad influences around me growing up I could have easily gone off the edge. But I never participated in any of it. Probably one of the reasons why I have a need to help others.
It's interesting you mentioned this other depression that is caused by a darkness. I was thinking how this realm or dimension is layered in fear. Was that placed there because in other dimensions it's not as bad. And if fear is a wave then it can easily be directed to a specific place. Ghosts carry this depressive and dense energy around them. Are they caught in something.

By changing the way I think, I change the way I feel. And by changing the frequencies of the mind, the depression of life can't get to me. That doesn't mean I'm in denial of reality.
I like to keep myself grounded and calm in case something comes my way. If I let myself become affected by something harsh it's my fault and I face the consequences, which lowers me and interferes completely with the frequency. Energies can't help but collide.
I know it sounds strange but we live in a universe of sacred geometry and sounds. Might as well figure out how that works inside of one.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  Sputnik on Thu 18 Nov 2010, 04:03

Sometimes I wonder about Rupert Sheldrakes morphogenetic fields..

Today My mom and I went to the lake for a walk and we talked about o lotta things,

Even POLITICS....and we did not go on each others nerves...(a miracle)

and while we talked a tiny mouse ran from the lakeshore across the trail and our feet into the grass.

We looked at it and the mouse looked at us and we enjoyed the encounter.

But my mom played a little trick on me...we passed a burned tree and she said,

"look your tree"...and I was looking and thought,...SHIT!

She knows my afinity to certain individual trees..but when we walked on we passed MY tree...

then I knew she played me and I just stared at the wrong tree (in horror)

She needs to show me from time to time that she is still one step ahead of me.

I swear she is worse than me.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  Sputnik on Thu 18 Nov 2010, 13:21


I took the "Auditory Test" on his website and failed miserably. I guess I'm not psychic.

One test won't tell much about your psychic skills. I think if you intent to hear a certain sequence you may score higher than if you try to guess which one will come next. If you concentrate on the cat for instance, you may cause the algorithm of the computer to play the cat at least 5 times or higher.


I can't help but wonder if its morphogenetic fields that are being created by the secret societies with all of their number conjuring and repetitious use of symbology.

This is a very interesting thought. I think they create a constant energetic field with their magic.
Large groups of people's prayer can create strong energy during prayer. Right now there are
2,5 million Muslime pilgrims in Mecca. It is those yearly rituals that keeps the religion powerful.


but these secret societies have something we haven't got which has enabled them to maintain their positions of power for so long.

I don't think that they are special or more skilled then other people. Many of these societies today are political, they were guilds that protected their knowledge from outsiders or they were forerunners of spy agencies. Take the confessional tradition of the Catholic church...the information obtained was ALWAYS used by Rome as any good spy agency would do..They had dossiers on certain famous or high ranking people. The confessional put the church into a special position in every town and region, they always knew what was going on and were able to exploit this advantage, and the people were brainwashed enough to subdue to this procedure.

Don't forget, it is always secret societies that are behind the religions that pull the strings, to exert political & economical power over the masses and to crush their intellectual enemies.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  seraphim on Fri 19 Nov 2010, 08:42

Thanks Bobdog, I will for sure recommend those books. There is something incredible going on inside of channelers.

The Mayans were very much into hyperdimensions, you did hear that they just dissapeared, so did the Anasazi and others.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  seraphim on Sun 21 Nov 2010, 02:17

Hi Bobdog, that great! I've read Seth material and Cayce, I'm halfway through his autobiography and he tapped into something, a part of himself that most folks can't reach for some reason.

I think the shadow teaches us rather than causes doubts in us. When something is not right I look to my shadow and
if it's real bad and I don't do anything about it then the shadow manifests somehow and seems to wake me up, and I know what to do next. As in my dream/hallucination I mentioned somewhere.
I used to think that the shadow was bad due to what society was telling me. That is was basically evil (kind of like telling us we are all sinners and must pay for it!), and I knew I wasn't and avoided it for the longest time.
But I think society hides the fact about the shadow, because they don't want to face, plus if we were aware then we would
realize how much we need to look into the shadow and how much it can show us.
I'm in the presence of an entity that's transmitting a greater or more significant quantity of light than I.
Yes, and that's what I think about the shadow. It can turn the lights on!
And that so called called dark shadow is just as good as the light.

Looks like another great book to read. I for sure believe in multi-d. I would like to get in touch with some relatives of mine and what they believe happened. I've got to post about what I heard about the four directions. I feel that ancient and sacred structures of the Natives were destroyed either by their enemies or the Natives because they didn't want others knowing their ways because they would be targeted. Just like witchhunts.
p.s. got to thank Rainyday for posting that Bill Cooper video long time ago.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  seraphim on Sun 21 Nov 2010, 05:22

meant to add...........
2. My own entity is to some extent comprised of something that absorbs that light or blocks it from passing through me, ie. matter.
Now that got me thinking.
Nice Confucius quote btw.
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:57

2. My own entity is to some extent comprised of something that absorbs that light or blocks it from passing through me, ie. matter.
maybe even ie= ideas
i mean as a general concept on psyche dynamics of information flow or not flow
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Re: Express yourselfs

Post  KapitanScarlet on Tue 23 Nov 2010, 04:03

your a deep thinker bobdog, good you dropped in

It is my personal opinion that esoterica is meant to be explored, discovered and shared, that it may then become exoterica. It is information which demands evaluation from insightful minds.

On the subject of esoterica and symbolism and especially psychology looking back in time with the resources available on the internet , and presuming some aspect of accuracy on human psychology with regard to historical observations with reference to the majority of people having their existence in servitude to a higher human authority especially royalties and organised religions , whom had dramatic influence over their psyche and its development or stagnation , a certain pattern can be perceived

The pattern is that “introspection” and its free pursuit , is a very recent phenomena for the masses
No wonder people get depressed, they have been given the freedom to use a faculty of being for which there are no manuals , a labyrinth of possibilitys that will breed both hope and hopelessness dependent on the “attitude” and level of “conscious intent” of the introspecter

Pre 20th century , the state of being for the masses would have been extrospective only because a person had no time for introspection as they were workloaded and also under the spell of a religion or aristocratic rule so mist of their energy and sense perception was extrospective

But the imagination of humans always has a tendency to introspect even if no active intent or even better , no active restriction for such is shown

There would have been little active intent to introspect back then because there was little stimulation to do so for the working classes
All the knowledge regarding the science of introspection ...ie magick was esoteric , hidden in secret societys for either preservation or more devious causes.

Active restriction to introspection is the phenomena of interest because the aristocrats , the kings, the religions were the people hoarding the esoteric knowledge so they knew that the human psychology has in its rythym the motion to introspect , by the very act of sleeping and dreaming

When introspection is not guided and managed by conscious intent, it is generated from pure unconscious and so it would often be fearful like a nightmare , and people would be scared of it, because it would present thoughts and possibilities to them that had no possible relationship nor expressive outlet in their controlled environment

So what you find is that all these old amazing architectural buildings, are symbols , symbols that could serve 2 purposes , the first purpose is one of preserving imaginative inspiration, the 2nd purpose is one of sucking like a vampire their natural inclination to introspect
These symbols were substitutes for their undeveloped introspective muscles and in effect created an inversion in their psychology through magnetic attraction so that their introspective faculty which is symbolic in its deepest nature was inverted to an extrospective function

What i mean by that is that these buildings allowed a sort of focal point for their conscious introspection , giving them something sensical that also fades out into the nonsensical through the symbolism , this gave them a representation of a human physical structure that was attempting to communicate with the gods above in the sky which satiated their symbolic inquiry in a controlled sensible manner, just like a plastic nipple keeps a baby quiet and away from the real milk
So conscious introspective function was made extrospective by having these supplied physical targets for its energy.
What was left in them was only the deep unconscious introspective signals which were too alien too the established controlled normality to ever find an outlet in articulation so those fearful thoughts were unconsciously suppressed almost as they arose.

This insured that little development of introspection , as an understandable science of the mind could ever occur in those times for the masses.. so that the masses could never understand the influences that controlled their psychology which controls their servitude

Then along came people like freud and jung, who were the public figures given credance for curing this ailment by creating a public science of the introspection , off course they were inspired by many many other great thinkers who never got the credit due, but I name them only because they are public signifyors not because I value them any higher than the unsung genius

So in the 20th century, began a slow reversal, where the extrospective directed introspective faculty was now allowed to turn full half circle again and look deep into itself and bring these visions into literal articulation

What was found , which was always known before but hidden, was that , just as the exoteric world through extrospection has its approximate definitives that then fade out into more abstract indefinites (symbology) or should I say indefinite definites (; so the exact same pattern was found deep inside mans psyche in introspection , patterns could be established in the mechanics of the psyche , and these patterns then faded away into infinite connotations which became the symbology of the unconscuious but some of these symbols were given forms by plato and jung and many others through the archetype, so some deep space explorations had brough back some golden insights .

But this conscious knowledge of the introspection brought with it many understandings but also further grave dangers to the consciousness because in there, in the psyche, is an uncharted world that can lead to accidents, especially for those that stumble into somewhere that they cant comprehend and in a world where comprehension of the psyches ways is still terribly stagnated, it is no wonder that depression is growing especially when the comprehensive faculty is further being suppressed by pharma-gear and press spin doctors

Extrospective ideas, fears , etc penetrate into the introspective worlds as "ghosts" in the machine, and these ghosts are as real as anything else in there, so they can haunt and terrorise people.
The only medicine to this ailment is both esoteric and exoteric study in harmony

So now in the 21st century, the majority of people have introspective awareness as well as the extrospective awareness and are active in this world although still novices , but there is a wealth of info now available on the net regarding this world in the psyche that mirrors the world outside, both affecting each other in dramatic manners and then there is the "Third presence" of the computer which is harvesting and documenting the development of peoples introspective understandings , a two headed entity , just like humans Twisted Evil Very Happy
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